The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

So it’s been a little over 3 months since I last posted – and I will also make note that in my last few posts I thought I had been feeling a little more bloggy. Apparently I was wrong. I think part of it is I have just felt so busy and so uninspired to blog that it’s just gone by way of the wayside. I admire those who can do this daily, or heck, weekly even. I know I used to find blogging a lot more important, but I also felt like I had so much more to say.

I’m realizing I’m spreading myself pretty thin lately and I’ve just been trying to quasi keep caught up with as much as I can in a borderline “jack of all trades, master of none” fashion. And when I come here I sit and stare at a screen, the cursor bar flashes, and the text box remains white. So, what I can say is I’m going to endeavor to try. I’d like to say I’d make this a daily thing, because I think it can become habitual – even if it is dry and flat. One day I could come to appreciate these musings of how I felt at these moments in time. And one day, these musings might mean everything to someone – as morbid and sad as it sounds, losing A really made me realize I wish I had something like this so I could have gotten to “know” her better before it was all too late.

This winter has been so very hard for me. For years I’ve suffered with Seasonal Affective Disorder, and with the snow starting at the end of October, and it snowing almost every day through December, the bitter cold, the teasing mid-February warm and melt, and still now the dusting of snow it’s all just too much. That has been a huge factor for me this year. It was also not helped by the fact that we hadn’t booked a winter vacation this year as we had for the last 2. It’s not something I plan on repeating any time soon and we will be going away during the winter of 2009-2010. Anyways, the point is, I’ve been exceptionally down this year and my head has been boggy with just junk really and nothing good. I’ve been lazier than I’m happy with. My gym mojo has been lacking, mostly because I don’t like going outside in this, and also that I’ve just really enjoyed taking this time to spend with Steve and friends. It’s been nourishing my soul, greatly.

March begins a fresh start and a clean slate for me – spring cleaning of the mind and body and soul if you will. We are going on a weekend getaway to Boston in a week – we both need the getaway badly and it’s somewhere we’ve never been, and I need to stock up on my Patriots paraphenalia. Then when I get home I begin a modified 30 day cleanse (I say modified because it will wind up being 25 days before we go away to somewhere tropical). I’m hoping the cleanse both goes well and that I’m able to stick with it. Thankfully it comes with a money back guarantee if I’m not happy and can’t stick to it. I debated not telling anyone about it, but I figure I’m going to need support at times, and I’m sure it will also draw questions why I’m having shakes and things at meal times because I’m typically a normal food kind of girl. I’ve done a fair amount of reading on it and it seems to be pretty healthy and most people have been reporting feeling awesome after a few days. I guess I’ll see.. 🙂 It’s worth a try and I really have nothing to lose (except for maybe some stubborn fat!)

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